Successful relationships take work since no two individuals can be so perfect to be without flaws. The difference is that partners in a successful relationship understand each other and commit to tolerate each other’s weaknesses while supporting one another.
In toxic relationships, one partner will project signs of control and egocentrism, always wanting things to go their way. When this fails to happen, they will tend to overreact or even harm their partner. The following are red flags of a toxic partner you should look out for when dating.
Human beings naturally desire to control events, objects or people around them to stamp authority. This is even more apparent in relationships, where each partner would like to set boundaries. Nonetheless, there are limits to exerting control, given we have to consider the other partner’s needs and desires.
Toxic partners fail to realize this key aspect and want to control everything. They always want their desires to take first priority. Most oft than not, they will become agitated, emotional and unreasonable when their significant other fail acquiesces to demands.
Partners in successful relationships always seek to bring out the best in each other. A supportive partner will always want the best for their spouse and will actively seek ways to prop him/her up. On the other end of the spectrum, toxic partners never see good in partners.
They will criticize and discourage partners from doing anything that will bring sunshine on their court. A toxic partner will appear to be in a never-ending competition to outshine their mate. They will always find all excuses to show why this or that choice is just but a waste of time and money. In short, they never see the good in their partners.
Anger is a healthy emotion that helps us communicate feelings of injustice or disappointment. However, it can be destructive if not expressed in a controlled manner. As we grow up, we learn how to manage disappointments without causing harm to ourselves or others.
However, toxic individuals do not have a hold on their temper. They will act violet and do stupid things when wronged. When angry, such people resort to breaking things or even harming others to settle scores.
We all have an innate desire for attachment. This desire is beneficial in that it gives us a sense of duty and responsibility to one another. For a relationship to work out well, partners need to give each other the freedom to pursue interests and find out ways of becoming better versions of themselves.
However, toxic partners become overly fixated to their partners to a point that it borders on obsession. This is partly attributable to the fear of abandonment. They will push partners to be too intimate too soon, fearing that they may slip from their fingers.
Successful relationships do not necessarily happen when we find flawless partners. Rather, it is all about finding a balance between what we can tolerate and what we cannot. While none borne of man is perfect, it is important to recognize that no good will come out of putting up with toxic persons that have little or no room for change.