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If you do not have a lawyer and want to sue someone for child support then you can go to the children's office in your constituency and raise the matter. They will guide you on what to do.
You need to draft or have an advocate draft for you (if you can't afford to hire one) several documents that usually initiate proceedings in such (civil) matters. Once these are filed in the Children Court, they need to be served upon the respondent (father) so that he too can file his defense/response. Then case will be set down for hearing. If the father denies paternity, a DNA test may be required for proof. At a small cost I might assist
Yes, she can still file for child support. The most important thing is that you keep supporting the children as a parent. The argument that she left because of influence by friends will not matter much in a court case.
If you have been sued, there is no option, you have to appear before the court and explain your case. You can appear without a lawyer and defend yourself. It all depends on the evidence you provide.
You can go to the Children's office in your constituency. Find where your constituency headquarters is located and they will direct you to the office. You can also visit your closest police station and they will advise you.